Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
