When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize