So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
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I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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