i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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