I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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