i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
