where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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