If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
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Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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