White coat. Heels.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This house was built for laser tag.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
