so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
