well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
