he wants to bone in the snuggie
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize