She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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