life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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