Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
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