Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize