forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
