We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements