im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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