Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.