she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it