I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder