I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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