I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
