She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
