Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
