he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
