Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
