I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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