Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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