He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
