I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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