wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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