apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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