i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
