Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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