Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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