a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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