READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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