i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
