the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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