so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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