another moral hangover. fuck.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
