Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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