so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
