Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
