oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Drake has all the answers
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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