I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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