my shit smells like andre
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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