I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
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oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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