I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
