Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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