Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
