am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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