The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
