Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
