He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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