you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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