This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
