how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
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I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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