Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
