I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
