I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
