Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We just shotgunned beers for America
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
